The last week or so has been a test of my determination to keep PencilStash around. My first hurdle was a creative one. Last weekend, I must have went back and forth between 4 or 5 different pieces, not really happy with any of them on any level, before settling on the birdhouse page. While frustrating, this creative block was not insurmountable. I’ve struggled with creative block, writer’s block, and everything in between.
The real doozy came Thursday night. I had powered through birdhouse page and the editing process and was just ready to come across the finish line with it when I received some disheartening news from Google/YouTube that truly threatened the continuation of PencilStash.
If any of you have ever had to work with Google or YouTube help desk before you’ll know that it’s practically nonexistent. There’s no customer support phone number, no help desk, no e-mail address… just a forum of semi-helpful people whom you pray will respond to your inquiry and FAQ pages that are just as unhelpful. There’s no guarantee anything will come of these avenues.
The future of PencilStash was in jeopardy. So I had to ask myself, “Do I post the birdhouse video? or do I wait until this is resolved?” I decided to wait and see. So my regular Friday upload time of 8am came and went. I felt a mixture of agony and relief. PencilStash is fun and exciting and the growth and support of it has been unbelievable. However, at the same time, it is a lot of work and I put a lot of pressure on myself to make a quality product… which in turn, takes a lot of my time.
I spent my Friday wondering if maybe this was happening for a reason? Maybe PencilStash was coming to an end to allow me to pursue some of the other things I’ve shelved recently, such as creating writing and my love of reading. Friday held no pressure for me, and I’m not going to lie, it felt good.
However I decided to give it one more chance. While my daughter worked on some things of her own, I sat down at my computer and decided to give my all to trying to resolve this issue. After about an hour, miraculously, I succeeded. I felt elated in that moment! I had done it! And with that elation came the excitement that PencilStash would continue as it was always meant to.
All that excitement fed my creativity. I spent Saturday coloring and did one of my best pages I’ve ever done (stay tuned for the video of it this Friday!). It’s amazing what getting yourself in the right headspace can do for you!
So, I guess what I’m trying to say is, that we all get into creative slumps. We all face challenges that threaten things we hold dear, but it’s how we react and how we push through them that makes the difference. I could have given up and gotten a LOT of free time back, but I didn’t! I powered through because I knew its what I really wanted.
This was a good lesson to learn at a great time in PencilStash’s development and I plan ride this renewed excitement and energy as far as it’ll take me.